Lately in My Clinic, Everyone Seems to Have the Same Theme – “I Have No Motivation for Work.”
Story 1 : An Entrepreneur Who Lost Her Fire
Ms. A is a successful entrepreneur who has been running her own store for over four years.
Business is thriving, and logically, she should feel fulfilled.
Yet, she describes feeling “hollowed out” and lacking the drive she once had.
She wants to expand her business, but the initial spark just isn’t there anymore.
After a deep conversation, she recognized the core issue herself:
In the past four years, she has barely spent any of her earnings on herself.
All of her money has been reinvested into the business to ensure continuous growth.
The rest went to her family and household expenses.
Even when she bought a car, it was purely for transportation needs, not as a personal indulgence.
She realized that she had spent years fulfilling external demands but never truly rewarded herself.
Story 2 : A Manager Who Slave Away Without Knowing Why
Mr. B, a manager in his early 30s, has long lacked enthusiasm for life.
Recently, with an increased workload, his motivation has dropped even further.
His approach to money resembles the older generation’s frugality—saving every penny and spending nothing.
I asked him: “Are you saving to buy a house, a car, or for a specific goal?”
“Not really.”
I asked: “Is it for FIRE (Financial Independence, Retire Early)?”
“Never thought about it.”
I then asked: “Then why stay in such a stressful job? Why take on more responsibility by getting promoted?”
He simply smiled and said nothing, for he himself doesn’t know why.
Finding Ways to Feel Rewarded for Your Hard Work
For these two financially conservative individuals, I encouraged them to think about one question:
“What actions can make you feel compensated for the effort you put into work?”
Put simply:
You should spend the money you earn, and when you do, remind yourself—
‘This is the reward for my hard work.’
and there’s logic behind this advise:
Spending Won’t Change Your Work Environment, But It Can Help You Get Through the Toughest Days
We can’t always immediately change a high-pressure work environment, nor can we instantly find a better job (which would be Problem-Focused Coping).
But in the meantime, we can look for ways to regulate our emotions (Emotion-Focused Coping).
This could mean treating yourself to a nice meal every few weeks, going for a facial, manicure, or massage—something that allows you to unwind.
We often hear the phrase “Work hard, play hard.” It’s not just a saying—it’s an instruction.
It means that if you work harder, you need to play harder to balance it out.
It especially means that you shouldn’t neglect your rest when the going gets tough.
Rewarding Yourself Helps You Go Further
I asked Ms. A and Mr. B:
“If you made your employees work hard for three or four years but never let them spend money on what they wanted, would they rebel?”
“They would have quit long ago!”
Exactly. Every good manager knows that to keep employees motivated, you need to take care of their emotional needs and provide sufficient rewards.
Yet, we often don’t extend the same kindness to ourselves.
We treat others as humans, but we treat ourselves as machines.
We recognize that others are “emotional beings” who need motivation and rewards to keep going, but we expect ourselves to function like a rational machine, forcing ourselves to keep going without rest, without rewards, and without joy.
If you ignore your emotional needs, anxiety, depression, and burnout won’t be surprising outcomes—they will be inevitable.
If You’re Driving a Long Distance But Never Refuel, It’s No Surprise When the Car Breaks Down
by Dr. Lim Po Ting
A Psychiatrist in Penang
